Russia Pulls Off Amazing 5D Multipolar Win!

Putin is addicted to fattening us up with sweet multipolar wins!

Russia has really outdone itself this time! NATO is on its knees, Washington is in panic, and Nancy Pelosi is already burning documents as the Multipolar World is about to be ushered in thanks to the latest and greatest Russian victory!

And what a victory this has been! The stuff of legends! A feat to make Alexander Nevsky, Alexander Suvorov and Georgiy Zhukov green with envy! A triumph of triumphs, a success to redefine success! An accomplishment of which songs will be sung for a thousand years and a million Russian newborns will be named after!

Here is what happened! National Socialists backed by the dastardy vampiric forces of transgender Unipolarism struck at the beautiful, precious Crimea bridge, sullying its holly concrete with 15 tons of exploding fertilizer and striking another blow for Kiev in the War of the Bridges. This came as a shock since the bridge was thought to be outside of Ukrainian missile range but the Ukrainian NSDAP found a way around that using its evil brainstorming powers to send out a kamikaze truck bomber. Thus ammonium nitrate expanded, a shock went through the air, and parts of the holy concrete blessed by holy Putin just four short years ago crumbled into the sea! Oh, the disaster! But then! But then!! But then the Russians…reopened the bridge really, really fast.

Whoah! Incredible!

The National Socialists might be good at shocking the De-Nazifiers in their complacent slumber, but at least the Russians are really good at reopening half-collapsed bridges! Who needs safety inspections or a second lane anyway, what are you a transgender?

Just another 5D triumph for the Multipolarista brigades already so spoiled by Putin’s victories to celebrate. And the finest of them so far!

In February the Multipolarista celebration was that with the Russians already in Kiev suburbs, the Ukrainians in the city center were already shooting at each other in panic! Their days were clearly numbered!

In April the triumph became even bigger when Kiev was proclaimed to have been just a prank, mate, and now the Ukrainians would be schooled in encirclement warfare on the plains beyond Kharkov and Donetsk.

In May and June, the triumph became even bigger, as the expected swift encirclements morphed into “Just kidding, swift encirclements are so 1940s. We’re just going to win by long, exhausting, fratricidal attrition. The judo way.”

Then in September as the Ukrainians broke the lines in Kharkov and the Russians fled to avoid one of these outdated swift encirclements the triumph became even bigger if that is even possible. “We’re just letting them win so they can build up some morale so we can defeat them more easily.”

And now for the triumph-of-all-triumphs: The Russians are really good at re-opening their semi-collapsed infrastructure without safety tests! Whoooaaah! Fantastic! Incredible!

The dastardly brainstorming Nazis can find ways to blindside the slumbering Anti-Transgender Forces. They can demonstrate the much higher level of ingenuity, fanaticism, and sheer balls that reside in Kiev, but when they do, Russian leadership stands ready to… reopen its smoldering bridges really, really quickly!

Now, you may think that going from crashing Kiev city limits with brigades of armor, to reopening collapsed bridges quickly, is going from greater triumphs to ever smaller ones, but do not believe your lying eyes! Whatever you do, do not believe your eyes! Multipolar victories have never been greater than with cars driving over one lane of the still charred Crimea bridge!

NATO is basically writing its surrender as we speak.

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Clearly, the decision to re-open the bridge was a political one. Not a civil-engineering one. No civil engineer with legal culpability is going to declare a bridge that just had three sections slide into the sea in a bomb attack safe without weeks of calculations and inspections.

I don’t mind Russian officials opening the bridge quickly. I think that is a good thing. The more successful the Russian officials are in downplaying what happened, the fewer stupid things they will feel they need to do to restore face.

But what is reprehensible are the truckloads of internet chipmunks so willing to go with the transparent state kabuki. The local 5D Multipolarista so eager to proclaim that “the only” effect of the attack was to cut traffic for half a day.

Effects go far beyond that.

Even if it the attack had caused 0 physical damage it would still have a long-lasting effect. For starters, the Russians are now going to intensify vehicle inspections. These are going to prolong travel times, hassle truckers, and most of all, serve as a constant reminder of how unpredictable, determined and fanatical the Ukrainians are. — The Russians somehow expended 4000 cruise and ballistic missiles without dropping a single strategic Dnieper bridge. But the Ukrainians somehow find a way to wage a war on the bridges without even having the weapons for it! Just a truck, some RDX, and a one-way ticket to hell! The disparity in focus, direction, elan at leadership levels couldn’t be greater! Anybody who from now spends 45 minutes being searched to use the bridge will internalize that message on a very personal level.

Next, cargo road traffic is not allowed, and the number of passenger cars has been capped. And ferry service has been restarted for those not brave enough for the bridge and has already transported 760 cars and 4300 people. The road section doesn’t matter, though.

What matters, physically speaking, is the railway. The Russians made a big show of running a train over the bridge in under 24 hours after the attack. But what they were less eager to advertise is that the railway over the bridge is two-track and they used the track that wasn’t affected by the attack.

The other track spent 12 hours having a fuel train burn on top of it. That track isn’t returning to use very soon. And that my friends is a very big deal.

A train can’t just wait by the side of a track while another one passes. Doesn’t work like that. Ergo a single-track railway has far less throughput than a two-track. A friend who works for a railway says when you go from two-track to single-track this is what happens:

“75% reduction in capacity at least, and not just the line itself, but it's feeder lines too. Any delay by one train is added on to all trains in both directions. It isn't just 50% less tracks, operationally it is crippling.”

The Russians have another rail line for the south running from Donbass to Melitopol, but that one only goes to Nova Kakhovka (not Kherson) and is also a single-track.

The saving grace for the Russians is that the number of troops involved in this conflict is a magnitude lower than in WW2 so probably they’ll manage anyway.

That said, for the cost of what was expended this was a very effective attack. Some TNT and truck to convert a two-track into a single-track. Not bad. Not bad at all. The Russians have done less with much more.

And please no crying about this being any sort of a “terrorist” attack. It’s a land war and Russian and Ukrainian ground armies both run on railways. The Ukrainians could have detonated a truck bomb in a crowded markeplace and that would have been terrorism. Instead, they detonated it in a way to set a fuel train on fire and damage a strategic railway.

In fact, it is the Russian side which started the war on railways and bridges in April which is also perfectly legitimate. You can read about it HERE.

Now, that the Russians did it fitfully, while the Ukrainians are actually showing focus and zeal is another matter. But don’t get mad at the Little Russians just because they’re better at it.